I realized this a long time ago...but the fixer in me continued to express my needs. All that did was make ME feel unloved, unwanted and mostly unworthy. They want you to feel that way. It encourages trauma bonding.
Once in awhile, when i am especially triggered, i fall into this trap. And i suffer greatly for it. The feelings of being invisible and expendable only compound.
I know there are betrayed spouses out there who experience this and dont understand. But believe me. Its them, not you.
