February 14th has had its ups and downs.
When I was being love bombed they were full of flowers and cards and special moments. But there were years where I was forgotten (years where his attention was on someone else, I just didn't know it).
The worst one was after Dday#1. The one where our daughter yelled at me for not believing in him. He was going to make it up to us. He was going to show up and step up. She made me take her to the store to get ingredients for his favorite dinner. When we got home, he was finally there (it was 7pm btw) and there was nothing. No flowers. No cards. No candy. Nothing.
She was heartbroken. And that's when she discovered his words meant nothing.
There were years after where I discovered the gifts, cards, and hidden receipts for thing he bought for Debra. Things he tried to hide from me, or maybe he wanted me to find, I don't know. I just know, I was discarded in the most horrible way.
Today I cried in the shower for the first time in a very long time.
But hey, at least today I know I won't be disappointed by someone who had vowed to love and be faithful to only me.
So at least I got that going for me.....
Which is nice.
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