Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Let's talk about MIRRORING. It's a technique that Narcissists use to snag new supply.  They create the atmosphere of being your soulmate.  They like everything you like; TV Shows, Music, Sports, Books etc.  They create this sense that you are two perfect little peas in a pod.  You end up feeling euphoric and you can't believe you hit the jackpot!  How did you find this person who fits you so well?  How did you land your soulmate?  

That's exactly what the narcissist wants you to beleive.  You fall hopelessly head over heels in love and the good is just SOOOOO good!  It becomes an addiction.  You want that feeling again and again and they make you work for it.  But then something changes.  After you are reeled in and you trust this person completely, the narc starts to undermine you.  They make you doubt yourself. They make you feel guilty over them not putting in the effort they initially did and make it all your fault.  Somehow, you are doing something wrong.  Somehow, it's your fault that they feel like you aren't enough.  

Then they meet new supply and they mirror them.  At home, your narc becomes someone you don't even know and you can't figure out what happened. The things you used to like together, the narc suddenly has no interest in. The laughs you used to share are now reminders of how lonely you are.  The narc changes for their new supply.  They suddenly like different music, food, TV shows, books or movies.  They dress differently, act differently and even talk differently.  They suddenly have different interests that take them away from you.  Your connection with them dissolves before you and you desperately try to hold on.  But it's all in vain because it was never real. It never really existed. It was all just for show.  

Some narcs can keep the mirroring up for years even decades.  Others its only weeks, before they are bored and move on.  But either way, their supply is left confused and bewildered, wondering WTF happened?  How did I get here?  How did I not see the signs?  You didn't see the signs because they didn't want you to see the signs.  They kept you busy trying to navigate the mental chaos they created so that you didn't notice the way they put all the blame on you so they could abandon you and walk away unencumbered by responsibility for the demise of the relationship.  They tell their victimized story to their new supply to gain their sympathy and to trigger the protectivness so they believe it YOU that is crazy!  The narc even pushes you to the brink so that you will act out of character in a crazy way so they can say, "See what I have to deal with?"

It's only after they are gone that you start to see the BS they fed you on a daily basis.  It's only after they are gone that you finally look in the mirror and see what they have done to you. It's only then that you begin to find the pieces that you lost and start putting yourself back together.  And this is when the narc turns on you and shows you their true self.  The true face of who you have loved and adored.  It's not at all who you thought they were.  They made you fall in love with a version of yourself and then made you feel guilty when you started to question it.  They are master manipulators who make you feel bad for their hurtful and destructive behavior.  You are a psycho beeotch.

But really, what are you?  You are not that broken crazy person the narc wants you to believe that you are.

Just look in the mirror.