Sparkle & Shine

Over the course of the past 6 months or so, I have gotten a couple messages from others who say that I shouldn't be airing my "dirty laundry" out on FB. To a point I agree. I have tried to be less of the scorned wife and more of the one healing, but I guess my post yesterday upset a person who told me I needed to "Get over it." 

I started to reply to them with a generic DON'T LIKE IT KEEP SCROLLING type of answer, but instead I asked myself why this person would say this to me? This person only shows the best side of themselves. Like so many others, only the best of times, only the wins, never the losses. They project a sense of perfection and we all know, you can't have good without bad. But then as I was staring at this person's message to me and trying to think of what to say, another came in. One from a friend who is going through something very similar and feels so alone. Then I remembered the other women who have contacted me, or shared things with me who are all experiencing some sort of hurt and have connected with me over this IMPERFECTION in my life. If my posts makes just ONE of these women feel better, smile or find a way through their day because I shared my struggle, then it's worth all of the naysayers out there who are afraid to share their struggles. It's not shameful to fail, it's shameful to not try. If my story helps someone else, I will tell it. If my journey encourages another to try, I will share it. If my learned lessons help another to understand, I will sing from the mountain tops. 

If you feel it necessary to message me to tell me I am wrong? That's your right. But I will not stop. I will not be quiet. Because I believe that turning something bad in my life into something good, is my obligation to women who have experienced the hurt, betrayal and deceptions that I have. I am not afraid to share my imperfections so that others can heal too. I am not ashamed, or afraid anymore. For too long I was that woman, who sat silent, who didn't tell her story, who should have left the situation YEARS ago but didn't. I was that woman who felt alone, wrong, invisible and unworthy. I was having panic attacks and I became a person I didn't like because of the situation I was in. But now I am healing.

Everyday I find another piece of myself and I glue it back in place. Everyday I create my stained glass window and I am not ashamed of the broken pieces. This is strength. This is my faith. This is the result of others who have stepped up to show me who I am. This is the love that others have been giving to me because that's what you do, you lift up, you support and you let that person know they ARE worthy, they do have value and they are not broken beyond repair. I have been fortunate enough to have wonderful friends and family who have touched my hurt in different ways showing me who I was. People who have known me since I was young who know my worth, my heart and my being. People who drifted away because I isolated myself only to return with a vengeance to surround me and protect me. I am lighting the path for others to follow. I will not blow out my candle because it makes you uncomfortable to see that life is not perfection, but a series of trials that shape us, mold us into who we are. We are the survivors.