Father of mine Tell me, how do you sleep? With the children you abandoned

The one thing I cannot let go of is my anger toward the Nex for abandoning his daughter.  He didn't try to fight for her, he tried to manipulate her.  He wanted her to take his side and when she didn't, he just walked away.

Days like today hit hard.  The last time I helped her on move in day was right after we found out about his secret filing for divorce.  When he called the police on our daughter for protecting me, and lying to her about the reason he filed, she was done.  

She banned him from going with us on move in day.  When I got back home,  he yelled at me for not sharing pictures or for keeping him informed.  He was pissed because we had friends help us instead of him.  

As the divorce proceeded, I asked him if he would have a place for our daughter in his new home.   He said no.  I asked if he would make room in his new life for her and again, he said no.  Why should he?  She's not even talking to him.  I stared at him...so angry.  Um, because she is your daughter?    

So he had it written into the MSA that I was completely financially responsible for her for as long as she lived with me.  

So today...because last school year she was at Oxford in the UK, we went back to her school and did the move in together...just us two.  And it triggered me a bit and stirred up that anger again.  How he has walked away Scot free and with ZERO responsibility,  either financial or emotional.  He hasn't messaged her, tried to contact her, make sure she is all set, does she need anything? 

Yes...she needed a lot!  A new computer, repairs to her car (gear box, brakes, alternator, belt) so she has a safe vehicle to drive, shoes,  clothes, supplies for the school year.  But he hasn't contributed to anything since he left in November of 2023. He is off with his new supply with absolutely nothing to tie him down and putting all the responsibility on me.

But should this surprise me?  He did this with his son.   When she remarried, he left everything to her and her new husband.  Oddly enough his son has a closer relationship with his step dad than his bio dad.

So as I followed behind my daughter as we drove down the highway, I cried.  I cried because she shouldn't be feeling abandoned by her own father.  She shouldn't have to feel like she would rather he be dead than what he is....missing by choice.

To all my fellow moms who have to do this alone and are doing everything you can to keep your child from suffering because of an absent father, I see you.  I hear you.  I get you.  But we are keeping it together and we don't need them.  We can do this without them.  

They are missing out on so much...but they don't care.  It doesn't suit their narrative.